


Nothing Else Matters

by lotms



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: About 2005ish, Angst with a Happy Ending, Frerard, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mikey Way is such an amazing brother honestly, No Major Triggers, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Suicidal Thoughts (mentioned), Sober Gerard Is Good Gerard, coming to terms with sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 01:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11220696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotms/pseuds/lotms
Summary: "Frank dated guys. It was just a thing, that he did, and no one questioned it.Gerard wanted to date guys. But no one really knew about that. He planned on keeping it that way."





	Nothing Else Matters

Frank dated guys. It was just a thing, that he did, and no one questioned it because if they did they would get fucking pummeled. It wasn’t a problem with the band. Just more gay jokes at his expense, which he was fine with.

Gerard should have dated guys. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to think about anything, just wanted to focus on touring and meeting the kids and drawing new shit. 

Gerard wanted to date guys. But no one really knew about that. He planned on keeping it that way.

\---- 

They were in the middle of the Revenge tour and Gerard was sober. He wished he wasn’t sober, but he is because he quit. Fucking cold turkey. Being sober meant he had to think about what his life was, and what his purpose was, and he didn’t think he could call his Ma up anymore when she said, “Gee baby, did you meet any sweet girls?”, because no, he didn’t, and he didn’t want to think about it either. Sober was thinking, therefore, he did not want to be sober, as aforementioned.

He would be lying if he said it was all bad because it wasn’t. He got to spend so much more time with Mikey, time that he wouldn’t have ever had if he was still fucked up. His comic ideas were more thorough since he could properly develop more of his characters. He could hang out with Ray more, like he used to before the band got big. And Frank–

Frank was something else. He didn’t know what he was, but it was definitely something else. He felt a sort of awkwardness towards him. After all, he did see him when he was throwing up and rolling around on the ground drunk. You can’t really be normal friends after that.

Frank was the only one truly there for him. Mikey was, sure, but he didn’t know how bad it got. He was making new friends on tour and meeting people (girls, in particular). He didn’t have time to deal with his alcoholic druggie excuse for a brother. 

But Frank didn’t care. He was there for him throughout everything, even when he himself was drunk he still made sure Gerard was okay. He would sleep in Gerard’s bunk, even when he smelled terrible, just to make sure he wouldn’t get up in the middle of the night to kill himself. He stayed by his side. 

Now it was different, and he never got to see Frank anymore. Even though they practically lived in each other’s faces on that cramped bus, Gerard just couldn’t get his grip on Frank.

\----

It’s Gerard and his comics, and comics and Gerard. That’s it.

It’s Frank and his new fuckbuddy, and another fuckbuddy, and another. He doesn’t like to get close to people. He’s numb with the feeling of wanting to be wanted. By Gerard in particular, but he just ignores it. It’ll never happen anyway.

\----

It was a warm night out, but not too warm. They were probably in New Mexico or something. It was nice and perfect for stargazing. The bus was stopped for the first time in what seemed like forever, and they got a hotel night. 

He sees Frank. Frank waves him, so Gerard walks over. 

“Hey”, Frank says blowing out smoke. “Hi”, Gerard says back, before lighting his own. It’s comfortable with just the two of them standing outside of their hotel, pressed against the wall, smoking together. 

“I feel like we never see eachother anymore”, Frank says, and Gerard wants to scream and kick and yell because he fucking knows they don’t see eachother anymore, that’s the fucking problem. Instead, he just mumbles “Yeah, seems like it”. Frank looks over at him, and he pretends to look for some constellations in the sky or something, because there’s no way he could look at his face without wanting to kiss it. Which is a problem because he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about kissing guys, let alone his bandmate.

Frank keeps looking at him until they maintain eye contact, and Gerard feels like he broke something inside of himself, because he cannot look into Frank Iero’s eyes without wanting to cry. 

“I’m sorry”, Frank says to him, which is confusing as hell because what could he possibly be sorry for? Gerard says as such. Frank replies “It’s my fault we aren’t as close as we used to be” and then turns his attention back to his cigarette. Gerard nods and looks back up to the sky again. Then he throws his cigarette down and smushes it with his shoe. “See you tomorrow, Frankie”, Gerard says softly before walking back to the hotel, leaving Frank feeling like something happened that didn’t actually happen.

Back in their hotel room, Mikey asks, “Frank?”, and Gerard says “Yeah”, with a sad smile. His brother envelopes him with a hug and he feels a bit better than he did before.

\----

It’s after a show in Arizona when Gerard realizes he has to come to terms with everything. Whatever ‘everything’ is.

He goes back to the makeup room because he left his sketchbook there, and doesn’t realize it’s occupied until he sees Frankie with his shirt off with some other buff guy who’s giving him hickeys and then he almost throws up. He walks out slowly and gets his sketchbook later.

\----

It’s a normal bus night. A good one, where the five of them watch the original Psycho in their sleeping bags together on the floor. Gerard, being the insomniac he is, stays up far past everyone else. Frank, being hopeless as he always is, stays up just to watch Gerard sketch. He goes up, sits next to Gerard, and then rests his head on his shoulder. Then, he moves to Gee’s lap and falls asleep to his artist hands twirling his hair and he thinks he could definitely get used to this. 

In the morning, Ray and Mikey get breakfast for everyone while Bob and the crew go sightseeing. They didn’t want to wake Gerard up because he looked so comfortable.

When he wakes up he’s staring right into Frankie’s eyes, and things feel normal. Better than normal. They don’t talk, Frank just leans forward and kisses Gerard right there, and Gerard feels like nothing matters but Frank’s lips, because it’s true. Nothing else matters when he’s kissing Frankie except Frankie. 

They are cuddled up together on the floor of the bus when Mikey and Ray come back. Ray looks confused and Mikey stares at them with a smile. Ray sees how content Gerard is, cradling Frank’s body, and he thinks, _Oh_. Then he smiles.

\----

It’s a hotel night and the only way Gerard gets in the shower is if Frank gets in with him, but Frank doesn’t complain. He giggles when he gives Frank a shampoo mohawk and Frank leans forward and kisses him. They don’t leave the shower for a while. 

\----

“Gerard!” Mikey calls from his bunk. When Gee comes to get the phone, Mikey looks him dead in the eyes and says, “Don’t be afraid.” Gee nods.

“Yeah Ma, I did meet someone. His name's Frank”.

Gerard smiles. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading! This was my very first fic so feedback is extremely appreciated. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thank you!!
> 
> -saint


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